And because I couldn't, I couldn't say, do, or tell anyone. It had remained a deep dark secret for years.And the funny part? I knew I wasn't a lesbian, not in the sense that I had desires for other women, I honestly didn't. Not really anyway. Sure, I had wondered what it might be like with a few girls ... but I had wondered the same about several boys too, one or two of which I had dated and allowed certain liberties with. It wasn't until I had turned eighteen that I'd even lost my virginity, well over a year ago now, and had only slept with one other boy since then. And no girls ... no girls whatsoever. But like I said, it wasn't women I was really interested in. Just one. And that one I could do nothing about anyway. Not ever.Every time I even masturbated, I went back in time. That was always how my fantasies started out, whenever I was thinking about mom..."Darlene" as I sometimes even called her whenever we went out together. It had become a bit of a running joke between us, that. .. oh, Rico shot the policewoman! Did she survive?" Yes, she made it. She's still in the hospital, but she's going to be okay." Thank God! Anyway, they came into our room. Larry told me to get up, and then he pulled open the pyjama I was wearing. That's where I got the scratches. He told me to get down on my knees and, you know, he had opened his trousers..." I understand. What happened?" Well, Rico grabbed Megan. She screamed and I tried to get away from Larry. So he slapped me hard. He told me if I took care of them they might leave the girls alone. And he told me that I would die afterwards, because that's what Max had paid them for. Rico let go of Megan and came over ... and then..."Josie stopped and tried to remember the exact sequence of events."Then the door flew open all of a sudden. Larry let go of me. I heard two shots and Larry dropped to the floor. I think I screamed. Then Rico was also on the floor with a knife sticking out of his eye. And there was Cap."The relief she.
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